Can you define...

Can you define the word "friend" ?

It's not that easy to do so, most people just define the word as what they look for in a friend. I personally think a friend is a person who will give and not expect something in return, a person who will stay with you no matter what the circumstance.

Not many people actually qualify as a friend under that definition. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I try my hardest to be a 'friend'. My friends are my life, and each one is just as important to me.

But a true friendship can only happen when both sides work at it. Sure, a one sided friendship CAN work, but it's pointless. You try everything you possibly can to stay friends with this person, and this person acts like a leech and hardly does anything (IF they do anything) in return. It's a losing battle, and won't ever change. I've realized that, and I'm giving up on one sided friendships. It's not worth it.

As for a 'friend' that will stay around no matter the circumstance? Most people fail that test. They're 'friends' with you when it's convenient, but when it's not they drift away. I've noticed that most people are more of a 'friend' when I'm in school. It's convenient for them, I'm right there and they can easily talk to me. But in reality, I'm chronically ill. I DON'T make it to school most of the time, and that's not my fault. But when my 'friends' stop being my 'friend' when I'm not in school, that makes me feel horrible. I start thinking about how maybe the people I know would act different if I wasn't sick, and that's a horrible thing to think about. And it's true, the people I know WOULD act differently if I was "normal", or "healthy", and friendships shouldn't be like that. You should act the same no matter the circumstances, but lets get with the program... people are lazy and they go for what's convenient.

So, What's your definition of a 'friend' ?

The Old and New

Well 2009 is almost here, and let me tell you. 2008 has been one of the worst years I have ever experienced. I don't say that just to be able to go "omg -cry- my life sucks." , because my life doen't suck, I fail, but I'm not a failure. I say that 2008 was the worst years of my life because truly, it HAS been. I almost lost my best friend, I had a potentially deadly reaction to a medication, another medication I took dropped me to the point that I was experiencing life as if I had just had a major concussion, I was doing horribly in school DUE to that medicine, I found out my brother has practically no faith in me and doesn't support me, Toda passed away, my cousin was hit by a car, my teachers stopped cooperating, I was failed in a class because of a teacher's incompetence, I became sicker than I have ever been before, I'm 3 months behind in school and losing hope, and my parents have lost another small portion of my trust.

Right there I listed all of the bad things that have happened, but I can't say that 2008 has been bad event after bad event. It seems that way sometimes, but then I realize that I witnessed a LOT of things this year. I went to Washington D.C. and saw my family's graves, and saw a touching event at the Vietnam Memorial. I witnessed the first African American to ever win a Presidential Election, I became friends with an awesome person (Sara), and I made it through Drumline training without dropping dead. Oh, and I'm alive. That's always good.

I've thought about it though, and have decided that 2008 has literally sucked. Usually my attitude to a passing year is "That wasn't so bad *shrug*;"

But I'm going to say 2008 was the worst year of my life, because hopefully if I say that, 2009 will be a lot better.

So, New Year, I welcome you. Bring it.