Drum-Off

>:/
Im angry at Mr. Jones.
Really really angry......
I'm to tired to explain. If you ever want to know why ask me this:
"What was with Mr. Jones at the USCBF"
I'll know what you mean >.>;;

Anyways...
The Band Festival (Drum Off) Went as such,
the marching bands got maybe 3-4 hours out of the 5 sitting around.
Guess what?
Lets just say Mr. Jones made it so that when we SHOULD have had 2-3 hours off. We were standing and playing the entire time.
Which means.
Starting from 5:50.
and Going until
11:03 pm.
We held the drums WITHOUT any break.
Oh wait no, we did get the 5 minutes in the bleachers...
-.-
Colin + Me = Sharing Looks Of Pain And Suffering
Colin plays Bass 5.
-.-
I play 4.
Im happy I at least dont have the biggest drum. But please let me describe exactly WHAT... this is like.
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Next time you're bored, strap onto your chest/shoulders, a 55-70 pound object that sticks out at least 2 feet.
Stand in place for 3 hours. Not moving at all. No Talking. No Putting the drum down, No re positioning the weight, NO MOVING.
Then ^.^;;;
For the next 2, (I'll make this easy for you)
Walk around a track at least 10 times. (we counted)
Now for you that will be a lot easier considering a few things.
1. Bass Drums walk with the crab step march. (Walking sideways on your toes)
2. We are wearing...
- Wool Pants. >_> (thick) and black.
- A Wool Uniform Jacket.
- A hat that makes you sweat like hell.
- Marching Dress shoes ^^ (No sole support or anything, they are useless)
3. The weather was humid, and hot.
4. You dont have to worry about being slammed into or slamming into anyone
5. Or keeping in step
6. Or walking at the right speed
7. Or keeping your head turned the correct way.
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Please do try this. I dare you. And if you do, and do it successfully ^.^ I will forever call you a moron and point and laugh at you (no really I'd be amazed).

To tired to write more... to much pain. Im a walking zombie. But just one thing...


Angela ._. why are you online?
Why the HELL are you online.
Im more pissed then happy right now.
I went through weeks of worrying and emoness because my friend was gone.
And then it's like you change your mind (yet again).
You cant leave us hanging.
._.
As much as I love you its a bit harder if you make us sad multiple times.
ily .___.
*higgles*

Haha XD

I think my mood swings scare people *bwahahahaha*
Deal with it.

I went to school for the last class of the day o_O
All school days should be like that...

Im a bit rushed and have to get ready.
DrumLine dinner at Rachel's house...
Because we have a game tonight X_X;;
Gwah.

I was really drugged last night XD
Had a migraine and felt drunk with all the meds I had to take.
Oh well...

I finished the 2nd book (New Moon).
Im officially addicted to the Twilight series. ;-;
Along with gally...
and sara..
and the other sara...
and krissy...
^^
I love them... time to beg someone for the third book.


I'll try to write again after the game (which will end late)
IT'S GOING TO BE 90 FUCKING DEGREES.
Wish me luck...
the uniform is made of wool >_>
Time to go die.

<3 you all~

I wish I could stop thinking

Shoot me please.
My mother.
Is.
Driving.
Me.
Crazy.
I know all parents do,
but I just want to cry.

This isnt the obvious kind of crazy,
She's taking whatever annoyance she has at me dad, and taking it out on me.
They fight everyday now,
and I cant lock my door.

She wont leave me alone.
Every word out of her mouth is a nag.
Or telling me how stupid I am.
How Im not doing well enough.
Or what I havent done right.
I havent heard anything besides that out of her fucking mouth.

When you invision doing ANYTHING to shut, even you mother, up...
It's a warning that you're going over the deep end.
And things arent working.
You've gotta either totally break down.
Or incase yourself with a barrier that CANNOT crack.
The years I've spent coming out of my barrier...
are wasted.
Because Im going back.
To what I was.
When my brother was home.

10 years old, young.... and you shouldnt have problems at that age.
Instead, I was crying every night.
Going to the guidance counselor.
But I couldnt tell her much anyways.
My brother went off to college...
The arguments and taking things out on me passed.
And then something switched this summer and spring.
It's back to normal.

Even my mom.
Who I look too.
Is growing farther away.
Im welcoming the future.
and when I can leave this hell.
They dont even know me.
Fuck it.
They can be blind.
They can not understand.
They can stand confused,
when I leave.
And NEVER.
Look back.




I really want to talk to someone. Well, not even talk. I want someone to LISTEN. I really want them to listen for once. I really do. Is it normal for a 10 year old to wish for someone to hold them? Because now... years later, I still wish that.
My parent's arms are empty.
And they refuse to hold anything in them.

So Im going to go cry myself to sleep like usual.
Great.
It'll become normal again.

And steven....
Steven says: (10:07:28 PM)
why the hell would he joke about suicide..? =\

"He wasnt joking."

-----

ily fifi <3
and you too dash.

ily tons steven. *cling*
I may be offline for a few days since my mother is being a bitch. (;-; email me?)
and I wish you werent offline...
and I wish that I could stay on longer.
and god I really wish...
I could stop thinking.
Put my mind to rest.
Just stop thinking...
And cry.

What Isnt Funny

Here's a lesson to some of you people that read this.
Im pretty good about "jokes" now.
But things I do NOT ever find funny,
are here:

Joking about suicide
Example:
alex: lolololololol
liz: o_O
alex: if you dun hear from me tomorow i overdosed
alex: lolololololo
alex: wow i forgot the l
alex: I fail
liz: thats not funny
alex: dun you talk to me like that youngin
liz: lmao
liz: its not funny at all
liz: w.e if you overdose, your loss, gnight.

(Not exact convo since Im to lazy to go into history)
Alex took 4 Extra Strength Tylenol PM ^^
Goodluck bastard -.-

ANOTHER SUBJECT THAT IS *NOT* FUNNY:

Joking about retardation.
Please do, I dare you.
I will, smack your fat face.
And kick you in your ass.
Its not funny.
They cant help it.
DO NOT JOKE ABOUT IT.


I could go on and on. Im not in a good mood if you can tell. Lets hope my moron of a friend doesnt die huh?