PB History

Since this is a place to store my thoughts for future reference, to see how they change, Im still gonna do that. Just because a lot of people read my blog now doesnt mean that's going to change.

-- A few weeks ago the topic of birth was brought up between me and my mother. We had been talking about abortion, and why or why not we would have one. She brought up how her friend had an abortion because the child was going to be disabled, and it would have ruined her marriage.
I disagreed fully. if a marriage was strong they should LOVE the child whether or not the child had some health issues. I'll always wonder if my decision would be different if I didnt have Edward for a brother. But I believe that even if the child would die 2 minutes... or a few hours after birth, at least they experienced a small amount of this world instead of nothing. If they're going to die you might as well try to give them everything you can.

I had always wondered what she would have done if she knew I was disabled. She said that after she found out she was pregnant again, they wanted her to go in for so many tests every week. And every night before the test, she would stand in the bathroom crying and wondering what the hell she would do if something was wrong. She couldn't take care of another disabled child, but she didnt want to give me up either. She wasn't sure what she'd do, and she worried so much. Eventually after one of the tests she told them that the stress was screwing her up, and she wasnt going to take anymore tests, let it be how it is.

So yea.
That's my pre birth history.

It's helped me decide how I feel on abortion, and helped me decide WHAT I would do with today's technology... and if I was given the information that my child would be disabled.
After Edward, I would have that child. Who knows, they could become the most absolute light of my life. Well, I know they would.